Post
by zfatcat » Sun May 05, 2013 12:24 am
Lois I found it. It was last Sept. This is what she wrote:
IowaGal
snowed in
For those of you who already know me. here is the update on my life, snd for those of you who don't, well here is your chance to learn about someone new.
As a few of you know, my husband, Ken suffered a series of minor strokes 2 years ago next month. Physically, he is ok, but he has waffled back and forth with "I want to be married to you to I don't want to be married to you ever since. I don't know how much is the stroke and how much is something else, and at this point I do not even care any more. I dragged him to counseling, to one doc after another, but he simply will not face that he has some cognitive problems. I was absolutely shattered, I cannot begin to tell you how badly. I had to go back to work full time, because I never knew from one week to the next whether I was going to stay married or not. I struggled with a lot of guilt, because who leaves a spouse who has had a brain injury like that? Well, I guess I do. He told me this spring that he was no longer interested in anything having to do with intimate relations, he wasn't attracted to me, he wasn't interested and furthermore, he did not want to change that. When I asked him why he wanted to stay married, he said because he wanted company. I need more than a roommate type relationship. I stayed until we got his youngest graduated, and finally I said I was leaving, Again. Only this time I had already packed up, got an apartment and signed a lease. His only response was do you need help packing?". There is no animosity, so that is good. I am living on my own and I feel like a 2 ton weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I am back to doing the things I enjoy, now without guilt or interruption, and I am very content. I think this is what he wanted, but was not going to hurt me any more, but living a lie was even worse. I realize I am unattractive only to him, that I still have a lot to offer the world, and life is too short to live it miserably. He can choose to live that way, but he doesn;t have the right to make me live that way. So here I am. I am seeing someone and we are going to the DesMoines quilt show in October. He doesn't get quilting, but if you aren't a quilter, who does? I am looking forward to seeing what this next chapter in my life brings. It is nice to be back!
9/12/2012 3:12:30 PM | Flag
Lori 