Thursday, November 7th

[KATHYSQUILTS]

Hello....

It's my month form transportation issues...lol I was going down to visit Kim on Sunday for a week but the car needs brakes on Tues. I'll see her when I get back from TX. The trip to Walmart was smooth & the 2 prescriptions were under $30. In between I'm pinning a quilt for my 1st big machine quilting. I'm going to use a wavy stitch to make it easier for me.

Chriss....the Civil War is on my Christmas list a book on the war & a bio on Lincoln. With 2 DD I should be covered. Marilyn's response to you info was precious.

Chickie.....tomorrow is the big 'find a ride to the airport day'. I'm sure there is one out there for me.

The phone.....

[rosebud3]

Karlene, RUN don't walk away from a relationship with this lady. God does want us to forgive, but He does not expect us to continue putting ourselves or our loved ones in harms way. I know first hand how it feels to be told I was a liar when encountering abuse from adults (as a child). I forgave, but I do not let any of them back in my life. Will be praying for God's guidance for how you handle the response.

Mary/Rosebud

[karpet]

Thank you all so much for sharing your wisdom. I need to find my 'No'. When all of this first happened, it was such a shock to have a friend do this and then a double shock to have people in the church who knew what had happened tell us to forgive and get on with it as if nothing had happened. That is when I decided that there is a big difference between forgiving and being reconciled. When I distanced myself from this friendship, I was told that I was in sin for being unforgiving. My gut says it is not possible to reestablish this friendship, but I just wanted to do a heart-check and make sure I'm not acting out of bitterness. I can't believe this came up on the week Victoria is due.

Speaking of Victoria, she is still a lady in waiting so I took her out and about again this afternoon. She has a doctor visit in the morning where they will do some checks/tests and could possibly decide to induce her tomorrow. If not, they will induce her on Tues. So we could have a baby soon!

Thank you all again.

[purrfect-lady]

KARLENE - I'd say your friend made her choice years ago to stand with a molester. I would believe a 10 yr old girl every day of the week over a man in this case. It will only cause turmoil to you and your daughter if you let them back into your life now. This man should have been prosecuted and instead he got off scott free, it sounds like, which sounds fine with his wife. I vote to freeze this couple out.

[FarmChick]

Karlene-I stand with the others... no friendship reconciliation. Is there a statute of limitations on child molestation? If not, maybe now is the time.

There is the axiom: First time, shame on you; second time, shame on me. If you let this couple inflict themselves on you and your family a second time to expose your daughters to their past or new babies... not judging, just sayin'. They are toxic; stay away. If you have to change churches, then so be it. You have to live with your principles, your family, your daughter's trauma... do not have it flaunted at you. The church may be a sanctuary for sinners, but it is not a cover for criminals. Let's face it--he is a criminal. The perp should have been imprisoned years ago; instead he is free to keep on doing it. What a tragedy.

[gershwin64]

Hi all from the hospital
Holly and Easton are doing great. Mom and Dad got home yesterday. I'm on my new cell phone so can't read too much
I've been up since 2:30am going to head home in a little bit as soon as adam gets back here
long drive home
Take care I'll post pix tomorrow or the next day. Very tired. Hugs to you all:o)
Tina

[karpet]

As you can probably tell, this whole situation was a mess with many strings to unwind, bells to unring. We were very fortunate that Victoria told me the day it happened and what had happened and I told the man the next day that I knew. As I said, he started to molest her and physically it did not go too far, but mentally it tore her world apart and turned it upside down. At the time, he was her most favorite man after her dad and her grandpas; she even called him uncle. I always believed her with what happened, I was just blinded by friendship and was trying desperately to understand why he did what he did. Then just a week or so after he went in for emergency quadruple bypass surgery. Everytime I would try to reason why he did it, I came to the same place - out of a sexual motive. And then I would reprimand myself and say I should not judge his heart. It took a psychologist to tell me he had molested her; and when I responded that he did not rape her the psychologist said 'that is why rape is rape, and molest is molest.' That was my lightbulb moment. I realized I could acknowledge that he had done it out of a sexual motive and that I was not wrongly judging him. I am so ashamed of that time I spent in denial. If it had been an acquaintance or a stranger who had done that to her we would have recognized it immediately, but because it was a close friend, we were trying to find another way to explain it. Everyone around us who knew (we were encouraged not to talk about it) acknowledged that what he did was wrong, but all assured us that he had never done it before and would never do it again. By that time we had a daughter in crisis and our attention went to getting her well. By the time she was thriving again, this was all a past event to everyone else and she wanted to move forward and not relive it again. My biggest regret is that we did not go to the police at the time and let them sort it out. No one who knew about it thought we should report it and both a counselor and the psychologist told us he had molested her, but also told us that it probably did not reach a level where he could be prosecuted. I did have a chance to ask Victoria this summer if she would want to report it even though the statue of limitations is probably long gone by, but she said she would rather not unless she heard that it had happened to another girl. I also had a village police officer come by the church this summer to drop off a flyer warning us of a sexual offender living in the area and I had the chance to tell him what was done to Victoria and ask him if it would have been prosecutable. He said that it would probably not have been a felony but a misdemeanor charge.

Whew, I guess that is enough. It has been awhile since I talked about it. I feel for this woman as she is not the one who did this, but it is her husband and she is with him. I have been composing a letter in my head all afternoon that I will write and send to her tomorrow saying things need to stay the way they are with us being on different paths.

Thank you all, I so appreciate your insight. The reality of living out 'love your neighbor' or even 'love your enemy' is not simple.

[xteacher2]

Just finished cutting everything for the UGRR (except borders and sashings) and had lots of fabric let. Enough for another quilt or two, except for one fabric and I have a 4inch sq. of it left. Hope I don't mess up on that one.

I have been having another dizzy spell. Well, I promised myself and everyone else that if it happened again, I would go to the dr. Well, I haven't had a pc dr. since ours left a few years ago. They kept telling me that one lady dr. was leaving and they would get a new dr. I didn't want to sign up with her and then have to do it all over again when she left. I didn't want either of the other two dr. in that clinic (only drs. in town). Soooo, I call to see if I can get in to see a dr. and they give me her.

She is middle age, Phillipine accent, and always wears a mask when seeing patients. Hardly touches anyone at all. Well, you are not my patient, I didn't give you all these arthritis meds. No, my rheumatologist. She listens to my heart, and yells at me twice to not breath so hard, breath normal. I said, I thought I was. Then, asks if anyone has ever told me I have a heart murmur. First, I said no, then remembered someone had 30 yrs ago but said there was nothing I needed to do. I told her I have just had pre surg., surg., and post surg. and no one said anything. She says I need an ekg and Echogram because .....here it comes..... they are going to ask her why she has this little old 65 yr. old lady and didn't send her to get anything checked because all people that age need to be having things checked. My bp was high when I went in, good thing they didn't check it when I went out. I told her I wasn't used to being a little 65 yr. old lady yet...;.
ekg was normal, see about the Echo tomorrow morning, just to shut her up and will be checking her replacement when she does leave in Dec. If it ain't broke, don't break it so you can pretend you can fix it.

Didn't mention WHY I might be breathing so deep, and the dizziness is inner ear, but she said med was worse than the problem.