Need a shoulder....

Caroline1947 · Post by **Caroline1947** » Sat Sep 08, 2007 4:27 am

Im kinda sad here. Some of you knew my son was coming to visit from Conn. and I havent seen him in 8 years. He left Missouri when he graduated high school and this is only the second time hes been home.Well, he looks so different, and my teen age boy is a man getting a bald spot and doesnt look like my son.He arrived yesterday morning,and will be here until Wed. Morning.He and his brother and dad all went fishing and sight seeing yesterday.Its sad, as he is like a stranger,I am having to learn all about him and his life there etc. and its really weird.Kind of overwhelming.Its probably the same way he feels.He hasnt kept in touch much.( a long story,a rebellious teen that left home)Only recently did he get homesick and start calling and trying to mend fences.Anyway,just needed to vent. I just feel like crying.A boy left and a strange man came home...odd feeling..

SewGlad · Post by **SewGlad** » Sat Sep 08, 2007 4:35 am

Be glad he came home. Start from today. Remember you have changed, too. You will look older, you will have a different walk than he remembers. You are now his mom, not his mommie. I had to remind my mom from time to time. Accept the man he is, and not the man you envisioned him to be. Just love him and encourage the relationship to continue.

Evie · Post by **Evie** » Sat Sep 08, 2007 4:39 am

Ditto what SewGlad said. Just take one day at a time and get to love the man he has become.

And don't bring up old hurts. Everybody's older and wiser.

Caroline1947 · Post by **Caroline1947** » Sat Sep 08, 2007 4:46 am

Oh my!!! I didnt mean to sound like I wasnt GLAD!!! I am thrilled!! Just saying, its an odd feeling and an adjustment that is a bit overwhelming.I didnt EXPECT him to be any particular way,,I didnt know WHAT to expect.It will be ok,,I just needed to express my feelings and I dont want anyone to think Im less than happy because hes home!! I wish he would come back for good!!! He and his brother had such fun yesterday. Today we are all getting together and playing music. That is a common bond for us all. We all play instruments,by ear.guitars, drums,I do the piano and we always have a ball. Then tomorrow we are all going to church at ours,and tomorrow night we were invited to our daughters church to do the praise and worship and special music.So it will be fun. Again, I didnt mean to sound like I was not glad hes here!!! This is great,,,just a new experience,and a bit overwhelming.

Leetec · Post by **Leetec** » Sat Sep 08, 2007 4:49 am

Caroline, {HUGS} Everyone changes over time, it's part of growing up and maturing, and of course life experiences. Usually when we see people on a regular basis we don't notice change as much because it's often subtle. But it must be difficult for all of you when presented with the changes after such a long seperation. All I can say is just love him for who he is now and don't worry about the rest of it. I hope you all will have a relationship from here on out, and that's much more important then what happened in the past.
GB...
Lee

Leetec · Post by **Leetec** » Sat Sep 08, 2007 4:54 am

I must have been writing my post when you did yours, Caroline.

I'm glad things are working out for this visit!

I'm very happy for you!

AudreyB · Post by **AudreyB** » Sat Sep 08, 2007 6:12 am

Things sounded like they were not good in the past. So you don't want it to be the same. All of you sound like you are putting in the good first steps. May this all work out for the best and all of you have a much better relationship!

P.S. I have a son like that and I am still waiting for the day he grows up and really want to mend our fences! You are very lucky to have this chance!

Huge Hugs!

Audrey

Susie · Post by **Susie** » Sat Sep 08, 2007 6:28 am

I am so glad you are getting this opportunity to reconnect with your son. As mothers it is sometimes hard to accept the fact that this little boy we have fawned over for so many years has become his own person. Everyone grows....sometimes it just takes one a little longer to "grow....up." Enjoy your visit and encourage him and love him. That is all we really can do for our kids. I am so happy for you.
Susie

quilter78 · Post by **quilter78** » Sat Sep 08, 2007 6:28 am

You are very lucky to have a son that came home.. My daughter disowned us over twenty years ago and had three children(our grand children) which we never met or got to know.. She did come here for her fathers funeral but never offered to help with any thing just kind of looked around to see if there was any thing they wanted.. stayed for about ten minutes and left and haven't heard from her sence. The only way I can look at it is forget the past and look to the present and future..I have a son who lives with me, but he has his vices also..At least he is here and offers his love.. helps out with maintainence of house and I always know where he is at if I need him. Sometimes you wonder how things turn out in life. Be very thankful your son cares enough to come home.. Forget the past and enjoy the present.

nanjam62 · Post by **nanjam62** » Sat Sep 08, 2007 6:46 am

Don't you think when we hope so long for something to happen, that when it actually does we almost can't comprehend it all at one time. So glad you are getting what you hoped for. What a great time for you. Nancy

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