working outside the home

[cindyg]

Everyone is different, thank goodness! I have always worked outside the home because I like knowing that I can be independent if I have to. It's a security thing for me. And I have to use my head and learn new things which I hope will help me with my CRS in the long run. I just want to go, go, go until I drop dead. My casket is going to haved a sign in it that says "I'm retired now". Do I feel guilty - heck no. My paycheck paid for lots of extras for my girls and my evenings and weekends were devoted to them. Besides, I would have been expected to cook great meals (I hate to cook) and keep a clean house (I hate that, too, so now I have a cleaning lady which I can afford because I work). I would like to stay home and sew, sew, sew but I would be so bored after a short time. I just am not the stay-at-home type and, frankly, I would feel guilty if I didn't contribute to the cash flow. That doesn't mean it's right or wrong. It's my choice. I do admire the SAHM's - IMHO it takes guts!!

[beccasmom]

I would like nothing better than to stay at home with my little girl, but necessity requires me to work. I am a single parent and have never received any type of child support from her father. there was an order for him to pay for a couple of years after she was born but I never received anything. Instead of getting angry and constantly thinking about it, I stopped the order. I knew I would never receive anything and I didn't want to become an angry person over it. I just had to make sure my daughter was provided for and happy. So that is what I did and we moved on and have done pretty well. I figured getting angry about it was taking away precious time from my girl and that was so much more important. I have worked since I have worked for almost 30 years. I can say that I really do enjoy the time at home I have in the evenings.

[JanJan1953]

I've worked all my adult life despite having two children, one who has a physical disability. I went through lots of guilt feelings and stress, but I worked because I needed to not for extras or luxuries. My daughters have both grown up to be wonderful young women, one is about to graduate from nursing school (is married and has two children of her own). The other daughter (who has cerebral palsy and gets around in a wheelchair) has a masters degree in social work and is working for a non-profit organization. She could stay home and live off Social Security but wants to lead a productive life helping others. I don't feel like my working full time when they were children has harmed my daughters in the least. In fact I think it has taught them independence and self sufficiency. I lot of people looked down on me for working when my kids were young, but I couldn't be prouder of the way they turned out. My husband died a month ago at the age of 54. I miss him very much but at least I am able to support myself and working helps me through my grieving. Everyone has to do what they have to do, and I don't believe either working moms or stay at home moms need to feel guilty.

[cindyg]

Oh, JanJan, I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish you the best and I'll send a prayer up for you that your grieving and adjustment period is not too hard on you. You should be proud of your daughters - they are successes, girl! Congratulations!