working outside the home

[QuiltLady57]

I saw what Prairie wrote about working outside of the home. I have to give my feelings about it.

In my single days (way back in the stone ages LOL) I never had a problem holding a job. Yet, once I was married and the kids came around it totally changed. Of course I was a SAHM for the longest time and then either out of guilt with all other moms working outside the home or whatever, I tried going back into the workforce. It seems that since around 1990 every time I entertained the though of going to work one of the kids would get sick. I managed to find a part time job here and there (still out of guilt of being a SAHM) but the job never lasted long due to either things not working out at the job or home/neighborhood situations that refocused my attention.

As the kids got older, the cycle stayed the same... My kids are now adults. Our son is 28 and living at home, our daughter is 25, married with 2 kids and #3 due in June. Last year I had a job interview with a bank, didn't get the job and a week later our son had a grand mal seizure - on the job - and was in the hospital for 3 days. That was when we all learned (son included) that he has epilepsy. It was then I said to my DH I am not too sure about trying to go back to work, it seems that God wants me at home with the family. I finally got a nice little 4 hour a day job at a daycare/ school (Goddard School) in August. On Labor Day weekend we had a family intervention with my Mom and we got her into the hospital. The staff at the School gave me a very hard time with phone calls to my brother during work hours and yes they knew of my mother being in the hospital. The Friday of Labor Day week we found out that Mom was in the late stages of colon cancer. They still gave me a hard time. My DH bless his soul, gave the school a piece of his mind and they wanted a letter from me the following Monday. Well they got the letter hand delivered, right before I did what I needed to do that day. Sadly Mom passed the first Friday in October.

I have learned my lesson. I told my DH that every time I look for a job or get one something bad happens and I think it is God telling me not to work outside the house. DH truly agrees that is the case because each time in the last year I tried to get a job, what happened had been very serious. So we were out on Saturday night and a friend's husband asked me where I work and I told him I don't. I explained what I just wrote and Keith said she's right, it's getting more serious with things going wrong. It was so good to hear him say that!

I talk with God a lot more than I used to. Instead of a prayer at night and morning, it's prayer when needed during the day. I've prayed for guidance, and I am totally focused on my family and the house. Now I am doing God's work here on Earth. I have decided to take up with Project Linus and will be making quilts for them. I told my DH that what I spend on supplies for PL quilts is tax deductible, but not to worry, I'm not starting up a chapter - yet. Maybe one day down the road, but not now.

Have a great day!

Carin
Carin

[IowaGal]

I have always worked, but only out of necessity. It wasn't a matter of wanting the nice things, either, but just keeping a roof over our heads, as my EH was an idiot with money. We have been divorced 9 years and I am STILL digging out of the financial hole he left me with. I am now able to work PT (32 hrs) and somedays that is too much as I have some health problems. ( Fibromyalgia, T1 Diabetic and some complications). My DH has had 5 spinal surgeries and a couple of heart attacks. You wouldn't know it we both work too hard and are VERY independent. If he ever gets SS disability approved, maybe I can quit altogether.

[quilterbee]

I work fulltime, 12 hours shifts in the ER. I've never felt bad about it. I'm 36 and hope I can work till I drop. Amie

[CindyB]

I hear you!

My EH told me that I could stay home when I was pregnant with our daughter, that didn't happen, in fact I was working two jobs outside the home, running a bookkeeping/payroll business from home, and doing all to run the home - while EH didn't work. This lasted for over 2 years, and then I left.

I tried to stay with my daughter when she was small, and when she started kindergarten, I went back to college fulltime.

I've worked ever since.

Now, DH wants me to quit (we need to get a few things paid off first - I was in the same boat as IowaGal from first marriage). In a year or two, we want to buy a motorhome and do some travelling. DH had back surgery in March, and is facing having both knees replaced. He also has complications from extreme exposure to Agent Orange, and wants to do some travelling, and be together, before anything more happens and he can't travel! What a dear he is!

[Becky]

QuiltLady57,

I was so blessed by your post. If you feel God wants you home, then you are doing the right thing.
I have been there many times. Bad things don't happen but my heart is never in a job. Since the children started coming, I have felt my place was in the home with them. Every time I would get a "good" job and settle in, I would get PREGNANT!!! After the 2nd one, I stayed home and home schooled the 2 kids. 7 years later, when I was back in the workforce, I got PREGNANT again! And there was no way it could have happened with birth control!! I worked up until delivery and went back after 6 weeks. It lasted 2 months. I wanted to raise my own.

2 of the kids are now on their own but the baby is 17. I now work PT, temporary jobs that do not demand much. The career thing is OVER for me. I do it to support my quilting mostly.
My husband is old school, too. He likes me home and available for whatever he or the kids might need. I have no grandbabies yet but when I do get them, I want to be there for them, too.

We are all different and that makes the world go round. I worked out of my part in the "Women's Movement" of the times. Guess I didn't belong in that either. But I am happiest at home. I know I am doing what God wants me to do and sometimes $$ is short but in the end the peace that comes from doing His will far exceeds a paycheck.

I don't dare go back to work again full time!! I might get pregnant!! LOL!!

[luv_2quilt60]

God Know's Best!!!!!!!

[Cathy32078]

QuiltLady, while our 4 kids were at home I went through the same thing. So it was decided that I would be a SAHM. After the kids moved out I was lost and luckily landed a great offc environment job with 9 women in a Call Center for Bariatrics. Loved it. Problem? My DH works awqay from home in the oilfield so when he was home (which isn't often) I would be at work and be give out in the evenings. So? last Nov. we decided that I should just quit & enjoy life. I do not feel guilty at all. If I want to drive to N Tx where he ususally works, I can and if I want to stay home I can. When he is home, we enjoy going places & seeing the grands together or whatevwer. My life since 15 yrs old has been devoted to my kids. I'm now soon to be 54 and I think it is okay that I do what I want to do with the rest of it. I have a girlfriend and we sometimes take a Chartered Bus to Tunica for a little gambling trip, when DH is away. That is fun too.

[CaroleJ]

I work 16 hours a week as a Lactation Consultant, teaching new mommies and babies about breastfeeding. What keeps me going back is seeing those beautiful baby faces, slimy with mom's milk, looking glutted and happy after a good feeding! Sweet little piggies! Not to mention the relieved looks and smiles on the moms faces! It's very gratifying.

I also homeschool our two girls, and in my heart I am a SAHM. But at the moment, things are feeling like they are a good balance and if it ain't broke, don't mess with it, know what I mean?

Carole

[Evie]

Sometimes it's right to stay and home and sometimes it's not. No one needs to apologize for staying at home or working outside the home. Every family situation is different. Personalities are different. I've even known some couples where the husband stayed at home and the wife worked. In these cases the husband knew how to take care of the kids and cook and the wife had the degree and experience to hold down a better job.

My oldest was 10 before we could afford for me to stay at home. Before then, either my husband or I would take a day of vacation to do field trips or parties at the school. Even one day family trips during the summer to amusement parks.

Remember, don't apologize when someone tries to make you feel guilty. No one knows your situation better than you do. (Can you tell, I got the guilt trip when I worked from SAHM's and got the guilt trip from working mom's when I stayed at home. You can't please everyone.)

[zfatcat]

QuiltLady57 sounds like that's what's best for you. I work 40-55 hours a week. Always have. My children are grown and out of the house. You have to do what fits your life. Working fits mine. I like working. Some day I'll retire, but not yet. I'm just not ready to be home all the time.